EQUATORIAL ESCAPADES AND SHRUNKEN HEADS
No one in our group was particularly talented in cutting losses and letting things go, however. Our equatorial escapades were a good case in point. I guess, to be perfectly crass about it, some among us were undisputedly stubborn, opinionated, and plain old bull-headed. Never moi, of course.
Quito, Ecuador, at an elevation of 9350 feet, is the second highest capitol in the world and the only site on the planet where the equator crosses over highlands. Everywhere else it crosses oceans or jungles. The country itself takes its name from “equator”.
So it was near Quito that we were to test our powers to balance an egg on a nail on the equator.
Our first stop was the Ciudad Mitad Del Mundo, or City of the Middle of the World, which is about 15 ½ miles north of Quito. Our guide made sure we understood that this was not the CENTER of the world but the MIDDLE of the world, latitude 0 0’ 0”.
It seems he had a few tourists over the years who, with a good bit of incensed arguing, let him know that THEIR hometowns were the CENTER of the World, people whose feathers he ruffled when they misunderstood “center” and “middle.”
There are indeed a number of places around the globe that claim the distinction of being the CENTER of the world, including Felicity, California and Ankara Turkey. Tulsa, Oklahoma even makes the mighty claim of being the Center of the Universe. Hmmm.
So we all agreed: we are at the MIDDLE of the world here.
We dutifully piled out of the bus to get our pictures taken spread-eagled on the yellow line in front of the 30-meter-high Monument to the Equator in the plaza. This is a de rigueur tourist activity, of course, to prove that we can be in two hemispheres at the same time.
After we all got our pictures taken, our guide informed us that this line and the monument are not really on the equatorial line, that the true latitude 0 is about 240 meters away. Come again?
It seems that in 1736 the French sent a troop of scientists to determine the exact middle of the earth near Quito, Ecuador. Their endeavor, which became famous, was known as the French Geodesic Mission.
After many months of deliberation, the scientists decided where the middle of the earth was, and they marked the spot. In 1935 a 10-meter-high monument was erected on that spot, and in 1972 a 30-meter-high monument was erected there, replacing the old monument.
Unfortunately, as we know today, the French were off by about 240 meters. If only they had paid more attention to the old ruins they kept tramping through!
The true equatorial line was determined by the Quitu-Cara people, a thousand years before the French arrived.
It is believed that the Quitu-Cara people established an astronomical observatory on Monte Catequilla even before the arrival of the Incas, and that the Catequilla ruins they left behind at an elevation of 8655 feet were at exact latitude 0.
Ironically, the French expedition had found these ruins between 1735 and 1745 but failed to realize their meaning and significance and ignored them while they went about establishing their own line.
“Ha!” said my Myrtle. “As usual, the indigenous people knew best.”
Nevertheless, the monument remains the focal point of the Mitad del Mundo, and tourists like us straddle the false line and smile for the camera.
So, our guide loaded us all back onto the bus and took us to the true middle of the earth 240 meters away, to the Museo Inti-Nan, which is built on the true equatorial line and even has a signpost that tells you when you are standing on exactly the middle of the earth.
Unfortunately, dear reader, I think our group were maybe a little offended by the idea that they had been duped by the fake line, and they looked scornfully at this signpost and started arguing
about how this line was probably not correct either.
Then they started getting out their phone GPS apps and comparing data.
Now you, dear reader, may know that personal GPs systems are not always as accurate as military and scientific GPS systems. For example, a GPS-enabled smart phone is typically accurate to within 4.9 meters, or 16 feet, under an open sky. The reading will be less accurate under trees or near buildings and bridges.
So I guess it should come as no surprise that in very short order indeed there were arguments breaking out among the group members.
The guide quickly called for attention and tried to curb the nascent squabbles by telling us he would prove through several experiments that we were, as he promised, at the middle of the earth.
The first experiment was to test the Coriolis Effect, showing that water runs clockwise to the south of the equator, counterclockwise to the north of the equator, and straight down when directly over the equator.
The second experiment would be to show that you cannot walk a straight line when directly on the equator, and your strength will be diminished as well because the magnetic forces of the earth are neutral on the equator.
The third experiment would be to see if you can balance an egg on a nail on the equator.
Well, to my chagrin, my dear readers, I do have to report that our group did not make our guide very happy that day. Personally, I think we had too many know-it-alls in the group, and boy, they all had to put their two cents worth in. For once in her life Myrtle did not stand a chance to get even a word in edgewise.
No matter what our guide did, the group would not stop challenging him and arguing. He showed us the leaves dutifully swirling around the basin of water clockwise when he stepped into the southern hemisphere, and he showed us the leaves swirling counterclockwise when he stepped into the northern hemisphere.
A man in our group immediately said, “Hey wait a minute, dude. That guy in Kenya showed us that the water went clockwise in the northern hemisphere, not the southern.”
Another man chimed right in, “Well he was wrong, stupid. You see for yourself that it went clockwise in the southern hemisphere.”
“Hey, who are you calling stupid!”
And dear reader, I am sorry to have to report that at this moment there was a bit of a brawl and the basins all got tipped over, splashing water all around.
We all leaped out of the way and our guide jumped in between those two men. Well!
Fortunately, a security officer at the center sauntered over, swinging what looked like a billy club, and our guide quickly moved us to the next experiment station, where he expediently and wisely asked for volunteers for only the walking-a-straight-line demonstration, not the strength demonstration.
So we never did get to see the strength demonstration.
But privately I stepped onto the equatorial line and tried to flex my bicep while Myrtle held my arm straight. Needless to say, as you can imagine, dear reader, that experiment was not very effective because Myrtle’s little muscles could not ever be a match for mine, even on the moon.
Meantime, our group resembled nothing so much as a coop full of chickens with seriously ruffled feathers, all clucking and scolding at each other.
Our guide tried to distract us with an unexpected demonstration: how to shrink a human head. Wow!
My ears perked right up, and I paid close attention, dear readers, so I can actually tell you just how to do this.
1. Make a deep cut in the head, from the top of the head to the base of the skull.
2. Separate the halves of the head and remove the brain and the bones of the skull carefully, keeping the skin of the head as intact as possible.
3. Place pebbles beneath the eyes and sew the eyelids shut.
4. Turn the skin inside out and scrape all flesh and organic matter from the skin.
5. Wrap the cleaned skin around a small wooden ball, then plunge the ball into a pot of boiling water with herbs.
6. After boiling it sufficiently, dry the head in sand on hot rocks, shaping the facial features as the head dries, and sewing the mouth shut.
7. When the head is completely dry, rub ash all over it to blacken it and keep the soul inside.
Voila! You have your perfect little shrunken head! You can put feather earrings on, too, if you like! And a wonderful wig of real hair as you see here!
And wow! Who knew you must keep the soul inside?! Personally, I was hoping my soul might have flown the coop long before anyone got started shrinking my head.
As usual, Myrtle stepped right into my fascination reverie with a tidy little lecture about how in the WORLD could I
find this interesting when I hated the sight of blood?!
Well, duh! “There was no blood in those pictures, was there, Myrtle?”
However, she did raise a good point. There would be a slight problem if I tried to do this in real life considering
that indeed I cannot stand the sight of blood.
It’s always something, isn’t it?
To be continued…